I Want to Kill George Lucas with a Shovel
by Muchalu
Summary: It's simple: I want to kill George Lucas with a shovel. I have never seen or heard of him before, but I want to kill him...


A/N: HELLO!!!!! So Senior year has been rough, buts its alomt over for me. I will be going to college next year and Im totally excited. This story is based off of the comedy routine by Pat Oswalt. It's called "I Want To Kill George Lucas witha Shovel" and its really funny! Its about how he wants to go back in time before the Prequals are made and kill him to save everyone the horror and nightmares. My fave line is "I don't care where the stuff I like comes from! I just like the stuff I like!" You should listen to the routine, its great! Also listen to "20 Birthdays".

Disclaimer: I don't own G.A, Star Wars, Indiana Jones or the title.

Enjoy!

* * *

"Hyuuga," the ice queen said approaching me. Here I was tiring to get some sleep when she called out my name. I woke up quickly because I didn't want to get hurt by her stupid gun thing. She was not normal…

"Are you going to the Halloween party tonight?" she continued when she noticed she had my attention.

"No."

"Is that so?" she asked with wicked grin.

"Why?"

"Well, that's too bad. Everyone is going to be at the stupid party. Mikan is dragging me after she dragged me to the store for her costume."

Mikan in a costume? What, is she going to pick something stupid again this year? We were 16 already and she still dressed up as either a fairy, a princess, or a fairy princess. Nothing new Imai, nothing new.

"She is going as something a little bit different this time though." She continued. Wait…Mikan was going to be something different?

"What is she going to be?" I asked.

"50 Rabbits."

Only The ice-blackmailing queen would do that. I was one of her favorite models. No, not modeling, she would sometimes stalk Ruka and I and take pictures of us. I never really cared if my pictures were all over the school. But when it came to Mikan? Those were mine. I handed her the money and waited for her answer as she counted the money.

"Princess Laya."

"That's still a princess." I said madly.

"Yes it is, but her outfit, is not even close to one…" and with that, she walked away back to her dorm to get ready.

What is that she-devil talking about? What was she planning? I remembered that Mikan had became recently obsessed with Star Wars when her, Koko, Kitsu, Anna, and Nonoko went to go see the first three movies in Central Town when they had a weekend special. I had not seen the movies for they were really outdated for my taste. But now with Mikan entirely engrossed in this film series, I had to wonder what this princess would look like?

With Ruka's help, I was able to find a quick and easy costume for me to wear for the party.

"Ruka, who the hell am I?" I asked with the most puzzled look on my face.

"Well, Indiana Jones of course." He replied fixing my hat and handing me some rope.

"…"

"Really Natsume, you need to watch old moves more often." He said sighing.

"I watch nothing before 2000."

"Which is weird…"

"Whatever. Let's go. We are late."

We finally approached the party which already had lots of students there and it was about an hour into it. It was a type party scene that I was use to seeing: girls with skimpy outfits, guys trying to look buff, and lots of dancing and groping. Youth…

As soon, as Ruka and I were spotted, loud screams came our way and slutty looking girls raced towards us. We ignored them and looked for some of our classmates, who just so happened to ignore the girls as well and decided to dance their hearts out on the dance floor.

I spotted Anna, Nonoko, and Koko dancing together and Sumire, who surprisingly enough didn't come over like she normally did, was dancing with Mochu. Yuu, Kitsu, and Hotaru where standing by the wall with the she-devil videotaping something. I looked towards the direction that the camera was pointing and almost screamed in anger.

Polka dots, who had a crowd of guys around her, looked horrible! She had on a gold like brown bikini top with swirls and a matching gold like brown skirt with a split on the side. On her waist, she had a gold belt and her ankle and wrist matched the belt. Her necklace was gold and landed right on her chest, which had developed VERY well over the years, and her gold earrings with red gems hung nicely off her ears. He hair was in a high ponytail and she had on red lipstick. Her skin was flawless and the little boys, no wolves, were just raping her by staring at her. Okay, so she looked hot, but not in front of all those wolves over there around her.

Without warning, I burned some of the guys butts and they all jumped. Looking behind them some ran off from the sight of me while others stood their ground. I walked over to them ignoring the girls behind and tried to figure out a way to Polka. Looking at the rope in my hand, I straighten it out and throw it like a whip. Mikan looked over in my direction and smiled.

"Natsume! You came!" she yelled running towards me.

"What the hell are you?" I asked trying to maintain my cold like appearance.

"Princess Laya from Star Wars of course!" She grinned.

"…"

"From the third movie of course. I wanted the first movie outfit but Hotaru convinced me to wear the third movie outfit. She said it would be much more comfortable for me to wear which it kind of is. Oh, I see your Indiana Jones!" She cheerly said pointing at me.

"Polka, I am going to ask you question." I said.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Who is the person who made this film?" I asked

"Who? The director? His name is George Lucas. Why?" She asked with a confused face.

"No reason." I assured her and walked away.

When I found Ruka, I dragged him away from the party furiously.

"Ruka is George Lucas still alive?" I asked him as we walked to my place.

"Yes he is. Why do you need to know?"

"Good, now I can go hunt him down and kill George Lucas with a shovel. What Polka wore was nothing but ugly…" I didn't care what Ruka thought of me then, but all I knew was that I had to rush to the US and kill George Lucas with a shovel for making the hot, sexy Princess outfit.

R&R! Hope you enjoyed it!

Happy Birthday to me!!!! 3/26/10!!!!!!!!!!


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